Conversation Partner – Meeting Eight (12/5/12)

            Well this is it…. the end of the course. The eighth meeting. Sort of bittersweet honestly. Alya and I planned to meet last Thursday; however, she had something come up. We rescheduled for Monday, but then I had something come up. Finally, on Wednesday, we met at our usual spot for our conversation. This meeting was different from the others though. Today, I had the privilege of meeting with Alya, as well as Mohammad, Alya’s husband.

            We did not talk about much new honestly. It was sort of a recap of all of our conversations because Alya’s husband kind of dominated the conversation. I was nervous that he was coming at first, but he turned out to be a nice person. His English is not as good as Alya’s, but we bonded over Hopdoddy and caramel and salt milkshakes. He thanked me profusely for helping them discover Hopdoddy. He told all of his friends about it and said many of them eat there every single day. It felt cool to be able to recommend someone to a restaurant and it become their absolute favorite. We talked again about their tests and plans for the future. Mohammad asked me a lot about my plans for basically the rest of my life, and I had to tell him I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do or major in. I’m only a sophomore; I still have time to figure it all out.

            This is not how I expected our last meeting to go down. It was sort of surreal but also very abrupt. I don’t know what I was expecting and looking back on it, I don’t see how anything except what happened would have happened. However, it still seemed a little weird. I hope I helped Alya with her English, and I hope she has a good life. I will most likely never see her again. Kind of weird to think about. Oh well… It’s been a great semester!

The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain

I’ve always been a huge fan of Mark Twain and his writing. I can’t help but think he was a man ahead of his time, defying social norms left and right and reshaping American literature and culture in the process. I’ve read a good amount of his quotes, but I never had the privilege of stumbling upon this compilation by Alex Ayres (that’s a cool last name) until now. I wasn’t sure how to blog on this reading since it’s the entire book and so many different themes are touched on by Twain, so I really just picked a few quotes that I thought portrayed human nature well. I admire Twain’s ability to analyze different aspects of society and draw from them the thought provoking insight that he does. Here are some of the quotes I enjoyed:

·         “A Banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.” – Attributed

·         “Prosperity is the best protector of principle.” –Following the Equator, 1897, vol. 2, ch. 2

·         “When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.” – Following the Equator, 1897, vol. 1, ch. 29

All three of these quotes stood out to me for the same reason; they painted an interesting picture of the average human. Most of us are selfish, self-seeking, sad individuals. I don’t mean all the time, so don’t disagree with me or stop reading just yet. I mean we, as a race, all generally possess these characteristics, undeniably at times.

            I feel like I need to clarify; I’m not a pessimist. I’m not down on life, and I’m absolutely not pointing any fingers. I’m just trying to articulate a worldview that I believe Mark Twain had and strongly inspired his work. The first quote that I highlighted, about the banker, portrays mankind’s habit of self-preservation. When it comes down to it, we, as individuals, now and in the past, do, and have done, what it takes to improve our lives. It’s not that the banker was unfair; he just did what he would benefit from the most, without any regard for the debtor. It’s not wrong, just human nature. He lends when he benefits from it and calls in the debt when he doesn’t. Twain is singling out bankers, but the same behavior is true of many people. The second quote illustrates the same idea. It is easy to be a principled, upright individual when everything is going well, but once things are not going well, humanity seems to ditch its principles and do whatever it takes to preserve its own, individual well-being.

            Lastly, we all enjoy when others respect us, and we often do whatever it takes to maintain a good standing in the eyes of others. However, how often do we eventually inspect ourselves and see all the things that need fixing or are inadequate. Few people are truly happy with themselves. Without a doubt, I know I am always regretting my actions or focusing on how to improve myself. Twain saw this behavior in those around him, and most likely himself, and was able to articulate it in his writing. It’s because of this ability and insight that I, and many others, regard Twain not only as an incredible writer but also as a notable philosopher.

            Yes, he has a grim outlook. Yes, it seems pessimistic, but I have a feeling he would just say he is a realist. I don’t think he was looking for these tendencies in others; he only observed mankind and noted these characteristics afterwards. To put it plainly, Mark Twain was brilliant; he wasn’t blowing smoke. To quote him: “The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.” He wrote this maxim on his 48^th birthday. He writes from experience and observation and had what I believe to be a level headed, although somewhat cold, view of humankind.

Conversation Partner – Meeting Seven (11/27/12)

Alya went to Austin! She contacted me over the break, asking if I would send her a list of restaurant to try. I recommended a number of restaurants in different parts of the city and that had a number of different respective types of food. One of the restaurants I recommended is a burger bar called Hopdoddy. On Saturday night, she and her family went to try it out. Alya told me it might be their favorite new restaurant. Her husband, Mohammad, liked the burger and fries so much that he asked if there were any other locations. Turns out, there is a Hopdoddy in Dallas. Mohammad ate there the day they got back to the DFW. I’m glad I could introduce them to their new favorite place to eat.

Alya, her husband, their kids, and Alya’s brother all made the three hour drive down to Austin. She and her friend woke up early for the Black Friday sales at the outlet mall in San Marcos. She was able to get a cheap new Samsung galaxy phone and a handful of purses and different clothing items. She said she enjoyed the experience a lot. I’m glad she had a good experience because I have heard a lot of horror stories about shopping right when the doors open on Black Friday. On Thursday, they all went to San Antonio to see the river walk and eat, but Alya and her friend, who she met up with in San Marcos, were determined to make it to the outlet mall before it opened.

Altogether, they had a great experience, and I’m glad because I am from Austin. They also took my advice and visited some parks, as well as walked along Town Lake. Alya and I both agreed that Austin is much more enjoyable than Dallas is. Alya also got her TOEFL scores back. She did not do quite as well as she hoped, and she has decided to focus on studying and taking the GMAT before refocusing her energies on the TOEFL. I tried to encourage her because I know how much she wants to go study Information Systems at Carnegie Mellon. We scheduled our last meeting for next Thursday. Kind of sad to think we won’t be meeting anymore soon.

The Tales of Juha 95-144 (11/26/12)

            Juha… you dog you. No matter what the situation, Juha always comes up with the perfect answer. I wish he actually existed and was my friend. However, if he existed and was not my friend, then I am glad he does not exist. He would really get annoying eventually. Anyway… I really enjoyed this last third of Tales of Juha: Classic Arab Folk Humor. The short stories covered themes of boastfulness and false pride, cowardice, and justice and generosity. Juha also found himself to be the butt of the joke, in need of witty responses, and a critic of despotism. Regardless of the topic, each story made me smile or think, or even smile and think.  While a lot of these stories are funny, many of them are insightful and made me think and appreciate Juha’s wisdom.

For example, when Juha was a judge, he always justly decided cases. On page 127, a poor man held bread over another man’s steaming pot. The man with the pot demands payment from the poor man. I did not see the ending coming, but I really liked it. I wish I could be this clever. Juha jingles a number of coins and says, “You can take the jingling of the coins… as the price of the flavorsome steam of your cooking” (127). The steam was only the product of the cook’s actions of cooking so Juha says it is worth the product of jingling coins… the jingling noise. I got a kick out of that judgment. The next story is similar. A man yells encouraging noises at a woodcutter then demands payment. Juha makes coins hit one another and says, “Take that as your fee- one encouraging sound for another” (128). I thought these two stories were the most simple and clever at the same time. I also really liked the flying goose story, but I didn’t think Juha was clever in it.

The story I found to be the most funny was the story about how Juha is appointed as a hero to a high post in the Tamerlane’s entourage. In order to test Juha’s courage, the Tamerlane orders that arrows be shot in between Juha’s legs, through his cloak sleeve and through his turban. When Juha does not flinch or show fear, he is rewarded with all new clothes… except pants because arrows didn’t harm them. Juha asks for pants and when the Tamerlane brings up that they were unharmed, Juha reveals that he soiled himself. He soiled himself so bad in fact that Juha says he doesn’t “know where to take hold of them now” (139). I found this mental picture to be hilarious. I was not able to guess the ending, so when it came around, my inner 12 year old was rolling on the floor laughing. I got a good chuckle out of it. It’s too bad we are done with this book; I have really enjoyed it.

Conversation Partner – Meeting Six (11/15/12)

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            I was happy that Alya could meet again this week because I felt bad leaving so early on Tuesday. We got a chance to talk about many of the things we talked about two days ago. Alya asked if her friend could come, and of course, I said that would be great. Alya walked in to 1873 with her friend in tow. I rose and introduced myself. Alya’s friend’s name was Sandra; she was from Columbia and studying music and English in the ESL program here at TCU. We got to talking, and they told me some of the hardest parts of learning English in the United States. Apparently English teachers in other countries do not know how to speak English themselves. Sandra told me they taught her in Columbia that “where” was pronounced “whhho-air”. Alya laughed and agreed. All of the words with “wh” at the start were taught wrongly. They traded telling me stories about awkward encounters at the grocery store and with other people on campus. Alya laughed and said if she doesn’t understand someone she usually just nods and says yes intermittently. If they “get a question mark look on their face”, she just says “sorry, sorry” and leaves. I found this hilarious, and Alya and Sandra both laughed as they shared and listened to each other’s experiences.

            Alya also told me that she and her family have made plans to visit Austin! I was excited and probably overwhelmed her with questions. She is going to visit the outlet mall a little outside of Austin and I told her she absolutely had to make it into Austin at some point. We had previously talked about our favorite restaurants and types of food, so I gave her a list of places to tour and restaurants to try. Also I warned her about going to the outlet mall on Black Friday. She wanted to get in on those deals but absolutely did not know the horrors and violence that occurs during this sales extravaganza. I warned her that, depending on when she got to the outlet mall, people might be rude and pushy, and that she might want to wait until the afternoon to go shopping. I don’t think I adequately conveyed the madness that is Black Friday so I told her about the Wal-Mart employee that was trampled and killed a few years ago. I think she got my point. I tried to make it clear I was not trying to deter her, only inform her of what she might experience if she went shopping the day after Thanksgiving.

I told her to feel free to text me if she had in questions while she was in Austin. I think this was my favorite meeting we have had so far. I find myself thinking of this less as a school assignment and more so as gathering of friends to converse. It’s been a great time.

Conversation Partner – Meeting Five (11/13/12)

Our meeting was cut a little short by another meeting I needed to go to for my job, so I don’t have as much to report in my blog. We covered a hodgepodge of different topics briefly today. Alya told me a little bit about customs in her home country. We had a good time laughing about the conflicts between American and Saudi Arabian culture. For example, in Saudi Arabia, it is socially during a meal for the host to refill a guest’s plate each time it gets close to empty, but in the United States, it is polite to eat everything that is put on your plate. Obviously, this creates a catch-22 of sorts. We both shared stories about this awkward encounter. No one had told her we did not do that in the US, so when she had a guest over last year, the guest had to explain herself to Alya and her husband, Muhammad. This happened to my older brother multiple times in Turkey and Japan. It’s always a funny story afterwards, but man that seems awkward!

She also mentioned how it is still socially acceptable to kill a sheep whenever you have a dinner guest in Saudi Arabia. Although, now a day the host does not have to kill a sheep specifically, it is expected that he, or she, put out a large spread of food. This got us talking about Thanksgiving, since the holiday is coming up. I briefly forgot that it was an American holiday, so I rather made myself look a little silly. I got the chance to explain to her what Thanksgiving was and the history of the holiday. This meeting, I found myself doing the majority of the talking, and Alya asked me questions. It made me realize I had been doing most of the asking. I need to treat this arrangement as the two way street it was supposed to be for future meetings. I found out Alya is done taking classes at TCU, and she is now solely studying and preparing for the TOEFL, which she will take this Friday.

I was happy when she said everyone she has encountered so far had been nice and polite. I accredited to Texas hospitality. I tried to explain how Texans are known for our hospitality, and that if she ever went up north she would encounter much less friendly individuals. We spent the remaining time talking about the differences between northerners and southerners. I had to tell her I am considerably biased and was born and raised in Texas and that she should take what I said with a grain of salt. Then I had to explain what it meant to take something with a grain of salt. Talking to Alya really makes me think about the words and idioms I use in conversation. After leaving our discussions, I always find myself choosing my words a little more carefully.            

Conversation Partner – Meeting Four (11/8/12)

Another week another meeting! Alya and I have become much more comfortable with each other, and I am beginning to enjoy our meetings much more than I initially did. Alya brought her iPad again to show me another video. She told me it wasn’t really related to Saudi Arabian humor but depicted funny aspects of their culture well. We talk a lot about her culture and Saudi Arabia, so I was excited to see what she brought to show me. One of her friends from home recommended the video to her as a funny but also enlightening video. The YouTube video is about the differences between Europeans and Italians, but Alya said to replace Italians with Saudi Arabians because many of the items in the video described her home well. Here’s the video:

I’ve never traveled to the Middle East. However, I have been to Italy, so I recognized many of the experiences and items mentioned in the video from my own experience. It’s a simple video, but Alya and I both laughed through almost the whole video. She pointed out the aspects of Italian culture that Saudi Arabia shared.

            Pretty much every scene with driving, parking, signs, and social etiquette was true for Saudi Arabia. She said people can be rude in Saudi Arabia because it is the social norm to ignore the rules, road signs, and other people. Everyone kind of watches out for themselves and rarely consider other people’s needs or feelings. For example, in the “parking 2” and the “pedestrian crossing” segments, the drivers just do what is easiest for themselves. Alya laughed and commented that sometimes it really did feel like cars were trying to hit you when you crossed the street. She thought the “bus” part was also funny. She probably laughed the hardest at this part. I laughed as well because I could relate to that with the TCU buses. The bus has pulled away as I walked towards it this year quite a few times.

            I was interested how she would comment on the “politics” and “voting” parts most. I think I subconsciously hoped she would break out in a rant about politics or discuss the deplorable, developing political landscape of the Middle East, but instead, she matter-of-factly stated that voting is difficult and disorganized, and once leaders get on the throne, so to speak, they stay there for what seems like forever. Alya and I had another good time laughing over YouTube videos and discussing Saudi Arabian culture and society. Thankfully, it has gotten to the point where we are both comfortable around each other. We were able to cover a number of topics, and I got a chance to tell her about my home, Austin, and how it compared to Dallas. She said she didn’t like Dallas, and I was able to tell her I agree and that Austin was much much much better.